1. Social media snafu. 15 year old daughter calls me out on Instagram, really?!
In my defense, Young MC’s song “Busta Move” was cued up because:
3. What’s a person to do when the exhibit rooms at the Minneapolis Art Institute were full on body to body contact? (Packed in like sardines at a nightclub crowded. Well, without the cool cocktails, trippy strobe light, music and damn good dancing.). There I stood, stuck, sober, sweaty, and—utterly bored. Must liven things up.
2. Times were tough and so was the view. The story of Martin Luther and the Reformation brought to life through astonishing artworks and historical objects, traveling outside Germany for the first time ever. And I couldn’t see squat. Too short to see over the tall people. Too passive aggressive to push others out of the way to read the wall plaques. Must lighten my mood.
1. Technology reared its ugly head. The downloaded audio app stopped, stalled and never re-booted leaving me with only half an explanation of Martin Luther’s stunning robe. What’s a person to do? Applaud me now for improvising.
#thestrugglewasreal #alternateentertainment #quickthinker
2. It’s the most wonderful time of my new year – the 14-day detox of gluten, coffee, wheat, fun, sugar, fun, dairy, fun, eggs and alcohol – did I mention fun? Hence, my introduction to the world of decaf-flavored drinks. * Rooibos tea meet Betsy, Betsy meet Rooibos tea * Well, aren’t you a pretty lil’ red bevie. You alleviate headaches, insomnia, eczema * Oooh * You help boost the immune system * Ahhh* And you can cure premature aging? Well, step right up. Hmmm, do I detect a hint of herbal? No. Is that perhaps a citrus tang? Negative. Well, you are a one hit wonder – cinnamon, cinnamon AND did I say, cinnamon. It’s as if I were drinking a warm, watery, liquefied piece of Big Red Gum. #rooibosteaisnotforme
3. After 22 years of marriage Jason’s morning routine is like clockwork. 5:30 am is announced with the daily trumpet blowing of his nose. It’s as if a flippin’ fog horn resides in our kitchen and for that obvious reason it annoys me. Also, the little picadillo that hehas to blow his nose into a paper towel. Does he think he’s too good for a kleenex? Whatever the hell that means? Is it more macho to require a Bounty “the better picker upper” rather than a delicate rectangle of Puffs with lotion. I know, I know – #callmewhenyouhaverealmaritalproblems
4. Succulents, paper whites and air plants, oh my! I’ve been known to kill a plant or two or three or four or more. Who’s counting?! Therefore, survival rates go up in our house if you are low maintenance and self-sufficient. (Plants, not people). Step up sweet succulents. I’ve watered them (when i remember) thinking no biggie if a few weeks pass – by definition a succulent is supposed to CONSERVE water. My forgetfulness keeps them in training. No need to meet your maker, you adorable air plant. I mean c’mon, who’s heard of not air-ing their Air Plant – hello. But the smoking gun this winter has been the Narcissus Bulb. Paper White to you, my friend. I have felt the pressure to not eff this one up. Gifted to me back in November I thought, I’ve got this. Water, air, sun, repeat. Three very long and slow, unproductive months later * ta da* a flower blooms. Wow, when I pay attention and show a little patience the pay off is quite pretty.
5. And last but not least, a few nuggets to toss around in your noggin :
* I’ve noticed at two separate lunch spots, two different grown men drinking chocolate milk out of Tru Moo to go bottles. I refrained from the long stare but I did a quick check for milk mustaches.
* Ah, my sunroom. My oh so comfy and cozy place to create. Lately, it’s become a bit too restful in the now-I’m-not-too-productive-cozy-way. So, in order to stay alert, I’m venturing out to discover new writing spots. I’m going to be one of those witty looking, hard working, hipster, laptop tapping, ear bud wearing coffee shop going writers. I experimented at a few locales last week. Hmph. My rap music can’t drown out the roar-rattle of those damn coffee making contraptions. And then there’s my small problem with all “the people.” They.are.everywhere. Now before you shout, “Library, duh!” I’ve been there, tried that. Couldn’t seem to shake that grade school feeling that I was going to get in trouble by the librarian. All I want is a comfy cafe all to myself. Anyone know of a place that has über quiet coffee makers and has very few customers? #whatweirdlittleworldisshelivingin
* Raise your hand if ya just love a good massage? Utterly awesome, but occasionally there can be those awkward moments. Ever fallen fast asleep? Body twitched where a limb has gone off the table? C’mon! Accidentally tooted? Groaned in delight because the deep pressure hurt-so-good? Now riddle me this, ever had your eyebrows blowing in the wind due to the fact your masseuse is full on exhaling over your face? It wasn’t a careless whisper or an accidental light flutter. It was a huff and a puff and I’ll blow your house down, wind storm swirling above my nose and my mouth. Warm, hot and very unwelcome. As I pursed my lips, scrunched my nose and closed my eyes tighter my monkey mind wondered, Do I say something? How do I tell her to stop? Does she have a cold because if she does she’s going to give me one, too. Why is she breathing so heavy? I swear our breaths became one. WTF. Nod your head in agreement if that shit was just downright weird? #howlongcaniholdmybreath #thestrugglewasrealpartdeux
Here’s to random tid-bits that grab your attention this week. Be observant, be aware and please be careful how close you are when breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Just not.on.me. Carry on, my friends, carry on.